Finding Confidence Through the Quarantine
Updated: Mar 25, 2020
By Chrissy Somers, Founder + Owner, www.FamiliesOnTheFox.com
A few weeks ago, I had coffee with my friend, Gina Petty, owner of Lola Salon in Geneva and cohost on the podcast Intentionally Lola. She shared how she went through her closet with one thought in mind: “If it doesn’t make me feel confident, I don’t need it.”
Wow… I mean, think about it… how true is that? There are certain clothes in my closet and dresser that once I put them on, MAN! I feel SO. UNBELIEVABLY. CONFIDENT. Like I could go through the toughest battle and come out victorious on the other side… with a giant, confident grin plastered on my face. And then I have clothes that I definitely don’t want to be seen in by another human being for fear that they may consider me feral.
Trust me when I say that I don’t believe in vanity. But I have personally experienced the adage, “When you look good, you feel good.” This can be interpreted in so many ways, so let’s take a trip down Memory Lane to a common experience we’ve all had…
… You’re at the register, paying for the services you just received at the salon or barber. You check yourself out in the mirror one more time and smile. “Is that really me?!” you think to yourself. You leave a generous tip and walk to the outside world. You soak in the sunlight with a little more happiness. You roll your windows down a bit to breath in that fresh air. You smile at strangers because… why not?
Does this ring a bell? It’s THAT feeling that I’m talking about when I say, “When you look good, you feel good.”
Gina’s words rang in my ears during the first few days of this unprecedented quarantine. “If it doesn’t make me feel confident, I don’t need it.”
With all this uncertainty circling around COVID-19, I like to find control in some places when the rest of my world is seemingly being uprooted, flipped, and spun around. I’ve learned that I can control how I feel about myself.
The kids were napping, the laundry was done so all my clothes were put away. But I had to put away SO MANY clothes! In this moment, I decided I would go through my clothes with intention. If I were to keep a piece of clothing, I had to ask myself:
Does this piece make me feel confident?
Is this necessary to my wardrobe (particularly to those that have a uniform or a color scheme they must follow for work)?
How does this piece make me feel?
Why keep something if it doesn’t make me feel great about myself? Why waste precious space in my closet or dresser for something that hasn’t been worn in months? Why hang on to something in hopes of fitting in it again? I need to be confident in where I’m at TODAY while also working towards those personal health goals.
I figured I wasn’t alone in this, so Families on the Fox has put together this list of things to consider while going through your clothes. Once you get your closet done, there’s no limit to what else you can go through in your home to pare down intentionally!
STARTING IN THE DRESSER
INTIMATES + PJs
It’s weird to say “intimates”, but it’s better than saying “undies” (…gross). Go through all the items in this drawer. If they are starting to look like a slice of Swiss Cheese, get rid of it. There’s no way you’re feeling confident with an undershirt that is that tattered, honey! Socks that haven’t found their match in weeks? I’m sorry to tell you, but that sock’s partner is long gone. Toss it! A PJ shirt you’ve had since you were 18? Is it an heirloom or something? Are you going to pass it down to your kids? Do yourself a favor and donate that!
T-SHIRTS + WORKOUT CLOTHES
Now, I know there is always a time and place for a comfy tee. In fact, sometimes I feel the most confident in a loosely fitted tee and jeans with a cute pair of shoes! That being said, I had to ask myself those three questions from earlier to really determine which tees I feel the most comfortable and confident in. Do I really feel confident in that shirt from the 5K I completed four years ago? I’m sure there are pictures to prove I was at this race; I don’t need the t-shirt anymore as a memento. We all need athletic shorts for working out, but only keep the ones that are comfortable and in good condition. The ones that hurt after five minutes of wearing them? Yeah, go ahead and donate those.
SWIMSUITS + TRUNKS
For every ONE person that feels comfortable in a swimsuit, there are another 50 - 100 that don’t, so this is a little tricky. I get that, but again, this is not about your BODY; it's about the way you FEEL. Forget what you think others will think about you. Keep the swimsuits and trunks that you LOVE, the ones that make you feel good about yourself. I had to get rid of swimsuits I had since before having my second child. My body was different then and seeing that swimsuit from my former “glory days” only made me feel more sad and upset that I no longer have that same figure. My swimsuits need to make me, a mom of three beautiful girls, confident in my super exposed skin, dang it!
MOVING TO YOUR CLOSET
Just standing in the doorway of your closet, I’m sure you can eyeball several pieces that you are happy to say good-bye to. Step forward and take those bad boys off the hangers and donate them! For everything else that you are already creating excuses and reasons you will wear it again (though you haven’t worn it in MONTHS), just try it on. It seems like a daunting task, but seriously. Put it on and look in the mirror. Do you feel confident? Is it necessary? How does it make you feel? If it feeds your soul and inner happiness, keep it! If you are shrugging, wiggling, pulling, or tugging at the piece, then maybe it’s time to say ta-ta!
Do the shoes in your closet match your current personal style? Are they comfortable? Are they versatile? Is there a specific spot for it? If you answered ‘No’ to any of these questions, perhaps you should have a think about it before putting them in the ‘DONATE’ pile.
So many accessories and so little time to wear them all! For real… how long would it take you to wear every accessory you own? If the item doesn’t serve a purpose other than, “It goes really well with this ONE outfit,” then perhaps you should save that precious closet space for something else more versatile.
I hope this article helps those of you who want to pare down your clothes but don’t know where to start (ahem… people like me). My own husband naturally pares his closet down and doesn’t need any advice on this particular topic. This article clearly isn’t for him. But the idea of keeping clothes that feed our soul, that make us feel positively about ourselves; this was new to me. I never thought of it this way, so I wanted to share that idea with others who perhaps hadn’t thought of it that way either.
Once you’ve tackled your closet, go ahead and listen to the Intentionally Lola podcast for more insight and a different perspective on things we tend to overlook and underconsider.
And go ahead and pour yourself something pretty. You earned it after all that hard work!